My Birth Plan
The universe laughing saying What Birth Plan?
Take that birth plan and throw it right out the window. That is what happened to me anyways on Tuesday, September 25th. For the most part, I had an easy pregnancy. I did have a little hiccup with my mental state and being a total klutz. That is another story for another day.
I had made it through to 38 weeks. All along I had that number in my head. If I can make it to 38 weeks, all will be good. All of my checkups leading up to 38 weeks had gone great. I was doing good, and Baby H was doing good. Everything was golden. At my 37 week appointment, I was informed head was down, and I was starting to dilate. Same for my 38-week appointment. However, this time when they measured my belly they mentioned that I measured a little ahead of schedule. Mind you I had a fear in the back of my mind the whole pregnancy that I was going to have a 10lb baby. All I could see were those babies on Maury Povich that weigh 50lbs and their Mom screaming "What all he wants is McDonald's. What am I supposed to do?" Seriously. Here is a link if you have no idea what I am talking about. Not that there is anything wrong with a big baby, but I just had a fear of pushing a 10lb human out of me. So when I brought up my concern to the doctor around week 36, she said I had no reason to worry. I was born at 7lbs, and so was Nick. All should be good. HA! RIGHT! Story of my life nothing goes as planned.
After they noticed I measured a bit ahead at my 38 week appointment they scheduled me for an ultrasound the following week. Tuesday, September 25th Nick and I headed up to Dubuque for an ultrasound. We got into the room and promptly told the tech that we didn't know if we were having a boy or girl so don't let us find out. That was my biggest concern that day. After that, she got to work lubing up my giant belly. It was giant! When I was 20 weeks pregnant, I would joke and say I don't get how I am going to get any bigger. Bigger was an understatement. I was huge! I went into my pregnancy weighing around 160lbs. I went out weighing 222lbs. WTF! So much for the whole, you will gain around 25lbs the doctor told me. I blew that right out of the water.
Back to my giant belly. The ultrasound tech took the little tool and placed it under my ribs at the top of my mountainous belly. She started by saying "Here's the head." I must have had a face of sheer terror because the tech looked at me and said: "Were you not expecting a breech baby?" GASP! Ummm no. I had no idea. She continues the ultrasound everything else looks good. She finishes by saying I am guessing the baby weighs around 9lbs 9oz. GASP #2!
I left the ultrasound room in shock. What in the world happened?!? And if this little dude flipped inside me how did I not know? Also, did he/she get so big because I had an ice cream cone every day I was pregnant? I thought it was only affecting my booty????
I confusingly walked to the exam room where we were meeting with the doctor to discuss the ultrasound. The next few minutes are a blur. All I know is it was decided that I would have to have a c-section. Once again back the train up. I had envisioned a beautiful natural birth. I had all my essential oils ready. I had been practicing my breathing while meditating in the morning. I could see my baby and me having that amazing skin to skin contact after they were born. I could even feel what that was going to be like. It was all I ever wanted. I wanted to give birth naturally and have them place my new friend on my chest so we could stare at each other. I would cry...Nick would cry; it would be perfect. Nope. Not happening. Instead, we scheduled our babies birthday for noon Thursday, September 27th. After everything was scheduled and we were on our way home I started to cry. This was not at all how I wanted my birthing experience to go down. Not even close. Not to mention if you read my IVF Journey #1 I don't do good with surgeries. I know I have reactions to anesthesia. Plus operating rooms give me anxiety. Even thinking about an operating room my chest tightens.
Wednesday morning I got up and went to work as a typical day. I informed my office that I wouldn't be back tomorrow since I was going to be giving birth to a 10lb breech baby. That night Nick and I had our last dinner together as just us. I went to bed and slept very little. My mind wouldn't stop running.
Thursday morning I got up and started putting all our hospital items together. Nick went golfing. Yep, you read right golfing. He said it was his last time to wake up and go golf. I agreed plus what did it matter. It's not like we could do anything else. The golfing that morning wasn't the worst thing he did that day. What he did next is downright rude. On our way to Dubuque, he stopped and got a coffee. If you are familiar with any surgery you know you can't eat or drink anything 12 hours before. So there I sat in the car smelling his coffee wanting to kill him.
We got to the hospital and parked the car. We then got into a fight over if we should bring all our items in with us right now or get them later. I thought it was weird wheeling in a bag to a hospital so I told Nick he could come back and get all our stuff later. It was the least he could do. When you’re 9 months pregnant with a 10lb breech baby you win all fights. We walked in and checked in like we were checking in at a hotel. Except instead of a room key we got some nice wristbands. We got to our room and settled in. Two amazing nurses came into our room. They hooked me up to everything. Have to say one of the most painful things was getting my IV. Oh and my catheter. A catheter never even crossed my mind when I thought about a c-section. Just another bonus.
Once I was all connected, and they were ready for me. I walked to the operating room. Once in the room, I was introduced to a team of people. I sat on the edge of the table to prepare for my epidural. That is when everything hit me. I started to breath heavier. I looked at the nurse and told her I could feel my anxiety kicking in. She just told me to breathe. I was pretty much hugging her as they gave me my epidural. I imagine I squezzed her so hard during that. Mark down never getting an epidural every again in my journal of things I hate.
As I am writing this, I am going back to that exact moment and starting to breath heavy again. Anxiety is a bitch, and it is crazy how the littlest thing can trigger it. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
I lay on the table, and they start prepping me. In walks Nick. After that my memory gets blurry. I remember them pinching me. I also remember feeling the pinch and panicking, so they gave me more juice or whatever medicine I was hooked up to. The next thing I recall is them tugging away and my body moving all over the place. I remember the smell and being like what is going on and then black. Black.
According to Nick, I started flopping around, and they had to tie me down to the table, and then they injected more juice that knocked me out. After all of the planning for my perfect birth and adjusting my plan to a c-section, after all that I missed the birth of our son.
The next thing I remember is waking up in my room by myself. Holy sh**. I look over, and a nurse was looking at a computer, and I look at her, and I could feel the tears start coming. Then an alarm went off. Not in my mind but for real. The alarm that goes off when someone is trying to steal a baby. At that moment Nick comes wheeling in our room our baby. You guessed it. Nick set the alarm off.
He picks up our baby and hands him to me. That was it. Flood gates opened. I cried so hard. I have never in my life been so overwhelmed with emotion. I finally got to hold my baby. No it wasn't the magical birth I had planned, and no I didn't get that skin to skin contact right away, but he was perfect. 100% perfect and that is all that matters. I should have known from the start that nothing would go as planned. My everyday life can attest to that. The road to get him can attest to that. He took years to get here, but as cliche, as it is, it was all worth it. In fact when are we doing it all over again Nick?
Now on to the real challenge, raising a little boy. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
Side note I did end up getting sick after Nile's birth. I am now 100% positive I have reactions to anesthesia. Also after giving birth, I had high blood pressure. Another thing I have never heard about. You always hear about preeclampsia, but you can even get postpartum preeclampsia. Leave it to me to get that.